Right before I'm about to talk at length about something I like I say, Get me started.

I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.

A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'

When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.

Multi-Choice question: My dishwasher is: efficient; hilarious.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'