Right before I'm about to talk at length about something I like I say, Get me started.

It seems that two of the most basic forms of comedy are jokes and stories. And, of course, they are not mutually exclusive.

I think the best thing about being dumb is that it makes magic a lot better. Where the hell did that rat come from? I dunno, but I'm calling the cops because he just cut that lady in half.

I never give anyone just one congratulation. Congratulations are always plural. They are similar to grapes.

My original goal was just to do stand-up but then I became interested in films - writing a film, shooting one someday, and getting to act in them.

Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.

A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.