Have a great day. Note: does not apply to my enemies.
A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.
My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.
I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument and right below their image it said "Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear". I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.
When a couch potato is sliced up and then deep fried that is couch french fries.
Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.