Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.

Jumping jacks are easier to do than crawling jacks.

I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no "chocohol". We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably "over-workaholled".

Knights would have probably liked refrigerator magnets.

I love catching a snapshot of something that is just about to happen. Or maybe something that just happened, you know. But I like especially that just-before kind of feeling.

I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.

And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.