And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money.
Demetri MartinIf you are trying to impress a woman, leave any sort of show farting out of the equation.
Demetri MartinI equals all of the ifs added up over time. The ifs, those are the possibilities; that's infinite for all of us. Every day there are just millions of them. Time, that's finite for each of us; there is no question there. Maybe if you divide choices by the amount of time you have, the real I can emerge, depending upon those choices.
Demetri MartinTo be creative, first I need to be really organized. If my apartment's messy I need to clean it. It's like before you start doing your homework or studying for a test, you have to have a clean room.
Demetri Martin