I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

There is no I in Team, unless you count the vertical part of the T.

Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.

You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.

To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.

Last week I lost my temper in my karate class. Man, I'm not doing that again until I'm a black belt. Because I can tell you there's a difference between taking karate and receiving karate.

I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'