A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.

I live in New York and there are a lot of famous... pizzerias in my neighborhood, it's really hard to find one that isn't famous. Which sucks sometimes, you know what I mean, sometimes I don't want all that glitz and glamour, I just want something delicious, you know? I don't need a celebrity in my mouth, Ray's Up And Coming Pizza would be fine.

To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!"

I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.

Do you have any Greek in you? That was just a tactful way of asking if you're pregnant. If you're not, then let's break up.