For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I'd come home and go to church and everybody would say, oh, my God. Demetri, you're working at the White House.

I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed.'

It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

Jumping jacks are easier to do than crawling jacks.

My friend asked me I ever swam with dolphins. I was like, 'Yeah, of course. What distance are we talking about from the dolphins? Because the last time I was in the ocean, I'm pretty sure I swam with most of them.'