My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.

Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.

Use crazy glue and nails to turn a rocking chair into just a chair that looks like a rocking chair.

There is probably more invisible tape out there than we realize.

When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.

I think as a performer, it can be really great to stand on stage, especially when you have more time, but I do think about the specific people in the audience, how it's hard for them to get up and go to the bathroom, how they chose not to do other things that night and have turned off their phones and everything. So for that reason, I think it's necessary to mix it up and talk to the audience.

When I'm buying car insurance I ask myself, 'Which company has the most annoying and relentless commercials?'