Let no man's deathbed be a futon.

A parade looks like a bunch of people are excited about being in traffic.

There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.

One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.

A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'

The thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Because glitter doesn't go away. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.

Villains fear me because I am unpredictable and broccoli. See what I mean?