You need an audience to help you figure out what's working and what's worth putting on your album or your special - or even just what's worth touring with.

I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".

A power nap, is when you sleep on someone who's weaker than you

My friend asked me I ever swam with dolphins. I was like, 'Yeah, of course. What distance are we talking about from the dolphins? Because the last time I was in the ocean, I'm pretty sure I swam with most of them.'

You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.

At the battle of the bands the loser's always the audience.

The problem with my balloon collection is that people always think there's a party. Settle down. It's not a party. It's just balloons.