A large portion of the Earth's land area is taken up by old varsity jackets.

I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me.

I wanna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together.

If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.

Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other things stop working or they break, But Batteries... They Die.

I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. "What do you do?" "I'm a match maker" "Aw, that's really romantic" "No, umm... I actually... never mind"

Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.