I saw a sign that said, 'Watch for children.' I was like, 'That sounds like a fair trade - especially if they're crappy kids.'

It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.

I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'

I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.

If I had a bookstore I would make all the mystery novels hard to find.

I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.

I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old.