I saw a dog wearing a sweater and I thought that looked ridiculous 'cause dogs don't have arms. If you're going to put clothes on the dog, you should put two pairs of pants on it.

I wonder if it's rude for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands.

One time I saw an old man in a hurry and I thought, 'That makes sense.'

I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.

I'm afraid of sharks - but only in a water situation.

I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'

A mobile home with a flat tire is a home.