My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.

I love bowling almost as much as I love not bowling.

I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

Clothing sizes are weird, they go: small, medium, large and then extra large, extra extra large, extra extra extra large. Something happened at large, they just gave up. They were like, 'I'm not doing any more adjectives; you just keep putting extras on there.' We could do better than that: small, medium, large, whoa, easy, slow down, stop it, interesting, American.

I think they named the orange before the carrot.