I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.

It is impossible for a cyclops to wink.

I equals all of the ifs added up over time. The ifs, those are the possibilities; that's infinite for all of us. Every day there are just millions of them. Time, that's finite for each of us; there is no question there. Maybe if you divide choices by the amount of time you have, the real I can emerge, depending upon those choices.

I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.

The problem with most people, is that they are most people.

What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!

Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.