A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.
I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.
When I first heard the term 'training bra,' I was freaked out. I was pretty young and I said, 'Did you just say training bra? They're training their chests? I had no idea.' See some lady, her boobs are everywhere. 'What's her deal?' Those are untrained titties.
Relationships, like eyebrows, are better when there is space between them.
I saw a door that said exit only. So I entered through it and went up to the guy working there and said "I have good news. You have severely underestimated that door over there. By like a hundred percent."