A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.

Wind chimes are also earthquake chimes.

You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?

I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.

Drunken behavior will not be tolerated, except by those who are being hilarious.

There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.

The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.