Like a lot of people, I’ve always enjoyed commenting on strangers’ outfits. Unlike a lot of people, I now had a new megaphone to do it with. And, let me tell you, commenting on people’s hilarious clothing choices through a megaphone makes it so much better.

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.

I love having an open seat next to me on the train. What's even better is when my seat is open too because I just stayed home.

I just know keeping track of what I'm doing and where I'm going is important to me.

You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.

I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.