If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
Demetri MartinSome of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.
Demetri MartinI love having an open seat next to me on the train. What's even better is when my seat is open too because I just stayed home.
Demetri Martin