Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.
Knights would have probably liked refrigerator magnets.
What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!
Sometimes, when something really great happens to me, I like to wait two weeks before I tell anyone about it, because I like to use the word 'fortnight'.
One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.