I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.

Knights would have probably liked refrigerator magnets.

When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.

I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.

My friend asked me I ever swam with dolphins. I was like, 'Yeah, of course. What distance are we talking about from the dolphins? Because the last time I was in the ocean, I'm pretty sure I swam with most of them.'

A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.

A refrigerator is the opposite of a drug addict, because a refrigerator starts in a box and then moves to a house.