Our Times, a Brief History: As televisions became flatter, People became rounder.

Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.

In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.

A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.

Surprise parties are strange 'cause people jump up and they yell the word, 'surprise' at the party. I came home and you emerged from my furniture. You don't have to tell me how to feel. I don't need a hint.

The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).

I wonder how they deal with mice at Disney World.