A musical is the same as a burlap sack, I would not want to be in either

There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.

I am a man. And I am former baby and a future skeleton, and I am a distant future pile of dust.

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

If you have a lip ring try hanging some tiny keys from it. This will make you look even more interesting.

There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.

I love Steven Wright. I was in high school in the '80s, and there was a lot of stand up on television.