Reality is a concept that depends largely upon where you point your face.

Wind chimes are also earthquake chimes.

I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.

It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.

Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the dog's owner - and the distance you are from your car.

A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'