At the battle of the bands the loser's always the audience.
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
In America, one sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a person's yard.
I don't want to be my own boss. I want to be my own colleague.
A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.