Reality is a concept that depends largely upon where you point your face.

I am sometimes referred to as Excuse Me in an annoyed tone of voice, because apparently I am in the way. I am so sorry. I am supposed to be some sort of mind reader, I guess. I am moving out of the way now as slowly as I possibly can. I am doing this and there's nothing you can do about it.

I go the gym and I try to run on the treadmill and I listen to music but it doesn't motivate me enough. So I'm going to get a recording of a pack of wolves gaining on me. People would be like, 'Why is that guy crying on that treadmill over there?' 'I don't know, but he's been yelling, 'help' for like 20 minutes. He's getting a good workout.

You need an audience to help you figure out what's working and what's worth putting on your album or your special - or even just what's worth touring with.

When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.

A Rubik's cube is equal to a drag queen. It's really colorful, but I don't wanna do it.

I have a jar at home, and I put pennies in it whenever I curse. The other day I spilled the jar. I owe it about $25.