I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.

Brought to you by raising your voice. The next best thing to being right.

I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.

Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.

I love motor learning because it's very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know.

A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.

Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'