I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.

I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.

If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.

Do you have any Greek in you? That was just a tactful way of asking if you're pregnant. If you're not, then let's break up.

Suicide is the #1 killer of a person who is in a boat and happens to be passing under a bridge at the wrong time.

For some reason cowboy sounds better than cowman.

Every fight is a food fight when youre a cannibal.