People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.

I don't think I ever wrote a song. I can write a lot of jokes, but when I try to write lyrics they're the most direct, non-figurative words, like, 'I like you, I like you,'... and that's it, for the whole song. People would go, 'Ooh, this guy's Dylan or something.' It gives me a lot more respect for songwriters, actually.

I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead.

Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.

I love Steven Wright. I was in high school in the '80s, and there was a lot of stand up on television.

If I had to pick one artist to tile my bathroom I would go with MC Escher.

I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.