Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.

When I was in high school I experimented sexually. The experiment was to never have sex with anybody no matter how hard I tried. Success! Hypothesis confirmed.

Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?

Whenever I try to spell 'banana,' I feel stupid because I don't know when to end it.

I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over.

I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.