Jumping jacks are easier to do than crawling jacks.

Surprise parties are strange 'cause people jump up and they yell the word, 'surprise' at the party. I came home and you emerged from my furniture. You don't have to tell me how to feel. I don't need a hint.

It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.

I was watching MTV and there were girls dancing in suspended cages. That would be an ambivalent situation: "I'm trapped! ...but enjoying the music".

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.

I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.

Parades are man's attempt to make traffic exciting.