Jumping jacks are easier to do than crawling jacks.

The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.

Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.

There are jokes I know I want to tell, and there's sort of a rough order, but usually I try to change it up every show, to improvise and talk with the audience. I think when you tell jokes, if you're not careful, you can end up telling the whole list of jokes and then that's it. And that can get a little boring.

The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.

Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.

Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.