Vampires probably don't have great breath.

A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.

If you have a lip ring try hanging some tiny keys from it. This will make you look even more interesting.

I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.

Suicide is the #1 killer of a person who is in a boat and happens to be passing under a bridge at the wrong time.

Villains fear me because I am unpredictable and broccoli. See what I mean?

Last week I lost my temper in my karate class. Man, I'm not doing that again until I'm a black belt. Because I can tell you there's a difference between taking karate and receiving karate.