Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.

Sometimes I see a bird fly by and I feel jealous. But then other times I see a bird fly into a closed window and I feel laughing.

When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.

I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. "Keep sleeping." All right, perfect.'

This is a pie chart about procrastination.

Love is, and I hope it never isn't.

Americans who do not celebrate Independence Day: pets.