It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.

For me, possibility, progress, growth, those things are very.. they feel very good. It doesn't usually come with negativity. I don't really mind sucking at something as long as I'm getting a little bit better at it along the way.

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.

Whenever I try to spell 'banana,' I feel stupid because I don't know when to end it.

Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable; that's survival.

I just know keeping track of what I'm doing and where I'm going is important to me.

A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.