It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!

I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.

How to be a bouncer: be an asshole; stand near a door.

I think cats would have an even worse attitude if they found out how stupid their names were.

There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else's house.

The reason you often get in comedy is because you're not getting laid.