I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.
I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class.
I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.
A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
The Pursuit of Happiness: It sure seems to like a good chase, doesn't it?
Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.