I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, "Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good." Hopefully it balances out.
Demetri MartinIf I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.
Demetri MartinYour mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.
Demetri MartinI am sometimes referred to as Excuse Me in an annoyed tone of voice, because apparently I am in the way. I am so sorry. I am supposed to be some sort of mind reader, I guess. I am moving out of the way now as slowly as I possibly can. I am doing this and there's nothing you can do about it.
Demetri Martin