When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.

I wanna put stickers on turtles... I don't know why.

If you have a lip ring try hanging some tiny keys from it. This will make you look even more interesting.

Siamese twins are interesting because they are the only people who can write a biography and an autobiography at the same time.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

Sometimes I see a bird fly by and I feel jealous. But then other times I see a bird fly into a closed window and I feel laughing.

I don't want to be my own boss. I want to be my own colleague.