My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'

I like birthdays. Every time someone is born, that's just like bringing more cake into the world.

I would like a ship for the hips, please. Ships and hips. Hipsters to stir with their hips on the hip ships. And, of course, hips. Yeah, hip. That's me. I also like sips. I'm a slow drinker. A sipster. I'm a sipster hipster comedian. Yeah, sips. But more hips. Hip, hipster, hip star, hiptard. Definitely.

Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed.'

When they were naming the animals, somebody got lazy: anteater? What's it doing? It's eating ants. DONE!