If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.

I love motor learning because it's very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know.

Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.

A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.

To remove all credibility from what you're saying try wearing sunglasses on your forehead.

Clowns have no respect for pie.

Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore.