Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
Demetri MartinIt's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
Demetri MartinClothing sizes are weird, they go: small, medium, large and then extra large, extra extra large, extra extra extra large. Something happened at large, they just gave up. They were like, 'I'm not doing any more adjectives; you just keep putting extras on there.' We could do better than that: small, medium, large, whoa, easy, slow down, stop it, interesting, American.
Demetri Martin