A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.

Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.