A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.

Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.

The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren.