Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration.

Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.