Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number.

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.

In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration.

An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.