A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.

Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.

For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.