If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number.

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.