People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.

Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Another thing rappers, I admire your rebellious spirit, but materialism is a form of mental slavery. Slow down on the jewelry, pick up a book.

Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress.

I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.

The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.