If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high school.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?

Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.

Nature's beauty never fails to fill me with a sense of wonder and awe, and still, I refuse to go camping.

Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you.

Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.