Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.

Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.

Coming to terms with my feelings of worthlessness isn't always a bad time, but it's rarely a good one.

If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.

Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.

The great thing about having a small family is that there are fewer people to disappoint.

Monogamy is god's way of making death seem like a more reasonable option.