Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.

Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place.

Monogamy is god's way of making death seem like a more reasonable option.

How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?

Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.

You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.

I've decided to hire a 'food taster', not because I think anyone is trying to kill me, but because I want to make sure it's not to salty.