Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.

Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.

I'm pretty happy for someone who struggles with happiness.

Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.

I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.

Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.

I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.