One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.

Patriotism for the sake of is like choosing sides in a war based on the color of their uniforms.

I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.

Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.

TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.