One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.

How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?

Homemade' sounds much better when not referring to tattoos.

Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny.

If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.

I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.

Women often use large fake breasts like a gun, pointing the weapon at you in an attempt to garner the attention their father never gave them.