You have the attention span of a large bug, and yet I don't feel good enough about myself to not date you.

I'd spend more time with you if you were less like you.

I'm pretty sure whoever said, people are wonderful spent very little time with people.

I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.

I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.

Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.

Unlicensed, illegal immigrants are the safest drivers on the road.