Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place.

Upside of being an attractive woman; if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.

Dating is great unless you don't like horrible awkwardness, lying, and a deep foreboding sense of disappointment that never goes away.

When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.

America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.

Monogamy is god's way of making death seem like a more reasonable option.

Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.