I've decided to hire a 'food taster', not because I think anyone is trying to kill me, but because I want to make sure it's not to salty.

Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.

If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.

I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.

I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably.

Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.

Finding your voice is something you have to keep working at. Your voice as a comic evolves the same way that you evolve. You have to find out what works for you. How can you express your opinion, your take on the situations in a way that feels natural to you? That's where you find your voice.