I've decided to hire a 'food taster', not because I think anyone is trying to kill me, but because I want to make sure it's not to salty.

I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.

MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.

Parenthood seems really rewarding... like martyrdom, but without the glamour.

If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

The expectation of happiness creates a lot of unhappiness.