Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.

The Middle East is America's 'champagne room'. No matter how much you spend, you will still never get what you want.

Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.

Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face.

Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.

We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.