Monogamy is god's way of making death seem like a more reasonable option.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.

Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.

Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?

The man I want to be could easily beat me up.

The Middle East is America's 'champagne room'. No matter how much you spend, you will still never get what you want.