You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.

Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.

Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.

The Middle East is America's 'champagne room'. No matter how much you spend, you will still never get what you want.

Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.

Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.