You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.

If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.

Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.

Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.

Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism.

Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.

People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.