You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.

People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.

People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.

Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.

If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.

If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.

Domestic abuse is wrong, but domestic retribution is okay.