I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.

Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.

Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?

Misery loves company which is ironic because it rarely throws dinner parties.

Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?

What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.

Parenthood seems really rewarding... like martyrdom, but without the glamour.