I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.

Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.

I'd like to expand the definition of the word 'success' to include 'failure' as the one seems inseparable from the other.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place.

Monogamy is god's way of making death seem like a more reasonable option.

Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.